Monday, May 20, 2013
I love this!
was prepared for a trip to Florida that would entail lots of fast-walking, distance-walking, walking in the sand, walking in the sun, and stair climbing.
This year...I dunno.
This year I am stronger in certain ways. A year and a half of QiGong has strengthened me from the inside out. My spirit is more at ease. I survived some rough emotional tests. I'm renewing myself cell by cell. I am in a good place, BUT.... and everyone loves a big BUTT... certain things have not been worked on, such as my cardio endurance and lengthening my gait.
It's time to prepare for this year's trip in ways that I haven't worked on since last year at this time.
Part of the plan is already in motion. I've quit smoking cigarettes. I was smoking a few packs of "clove" cigarettes every week. I gave that up on April 13th after I couldn't catch my breath at a self defense class.
Another aspect of the plan is to walk up and down 3 flights of stairs 3 times per week. I teach on the third floor for the next 5 weeks. I will take the stairs instead of the elevator.
That's as far as I've gotten in my planning.
I better get going quickly. The Florida trip is the first week of July.
And yes, there will be TWO DAYS of Disney this time instead of one.
Time to get busy.
Posted by Lisa Sargese at 12:13 AM
Sunday, May 19, 2013
"...I always find that ‘pressing’ or massaging
with or without a massage tool,
anywhere you have pain
or are sensitive
brings your attention there
and by applying the pressure,
easily releases the tension there
so that our bodies function as they are meant to.
This is awesome for Everyone to do.
We have been taught to stay away
from the painful areas
but i find you have to face them strongly,
head on, as our goal is to feel GOOD
and we want to get rid of anything
that does not fit the highest
and best happiness possible ..."
"I'm in trouble. I need help," I sobbed out the words onto my friend's shoulder. "Please help me" I whimpered desperately as I cried on him.
When I explained that I needed help grading 100 Final exams because the grades were due first thing in the morning, he answered,
"Eaaaaasy. That's eeeeeasy.
We can get it done.
Take a deep breath.
We can do it together.
Not a problem."
It took us 5 hours.
Grading the exams totally derailed the plans we had. It was not a fun or relaxing way to spend a Sunday.
My friend didn't care. He didn't complain. He just dove in and did the work. He even made me laugh as we went along.
When the exams were graded I had to enter them into the online grading system. While I did that, he went to the store for me and got me exactly what I was craving for dinner. I felt totally taken care of. It wasn't easy to ask for what I needed, but my friend took care of me.
I began the day with a hole in my heart, worry, guilt, and a face full of tears.
I ended the day with a full gradebook, a full belly, and a full heart.
I have a very small list of people who would do those kinds of things for me. I don't even think it's a list. There aren't enough names for it to be a list. That I have more than one friend who would do these things for me is a blessed miracle.
It hurts me to ask for help. I hate to admit that I need support. I hate to admit that I need practical help that involves actual work and effort from someone. But why?
Sometimes we don't like to admit that we're flawed and fragile humans. We don't like admitting we're in need because it makes us feel inadequate. We have this idea that we should be able to do it all and do it all ourselves.
We don't like asking because the answer might be NO.
We don't like risking that people will think we're weak, will like us less, or will help us and then resent us forever.
We fear feeling out of control. We can't control every little thing if we're letting other people help with the work.
But sometimes we have to give up control, be vulnerable, be less than perfect, and be open so that our hearts can heal. Sometimes, a heart needs healing from another being. We can't always heal on our own. Sometimes it's about others.
My heart was busted up. Not any more. Now it's on the mend because I allowed someone to take care of me. I risked it all and it paid off. I got help and I got healed.
It's on the mend because someone made me feel good about being cared for, because someone was unselfish, and they took action to help me.
And guess what?
The world didn't end.
Asking for help and getting it wasn't the big hairy emotional deal that I made it out to be. It's actually one of the most human things we can do.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
In Ancient China, there lived a Monk, and a Warlord. One was a man of peace and benevolence; the other a man of savagery and violence.
Both men were masters of the martial arts and had great skills with weapons.
One day, during his morning lessons, a student interrupted with a strange question (As always happens in these stories).
"Master" he said. "You are a man of such peace and harmony. You are not the Warlord. Why do you put so much effort into training and mastering the skills of death, and the tools of violence? Why does a Monk such as yourself not put down his weapons if he truly seeks peace?
The Master paused for a moment as he looked long and deep into the eyes of his curious student. Then he answered.
If the War Lord were to put down his weapons, then there would be peace between us. Everyone would in the land would exist in harmony.
If I put down my weapons,
there would be only the War Lord.
Thanks to Gian for posting this!
Posted by Lisa Sargese at 10:54 PM
Friday, May 17, 2013
"How to live a more positive life...
Be of service.
Be true to your word.
- Lisa and Darren
Funny thing about motivational talks; the ones who need them most aren't motivated enough to go! The ones who were meant to be there were there. They were motivated to be there. They didn't need us! Still, we had a wonderful time. Two of my students came and brought friends. That is always a high compliment.
Darren and I spoke to the intimate audience tonight at Trento's Martial Arts and Fitness Center. Master Trento, himself a former student who heard Darren speak in my classes many a time, introduced us. He recalled the impression we made during our classroom presentations in 2008 when Master Trento had not yet opened his own school. Darren is now running his own basket ball camps and is a certified phys ed teacher. I lost over 130 pounds and got the use of my legs back. Master Trento has his own big, beautiful dojang and fitness (and wellness) center. After making great strides and applying success principles, we were all reunited after 5 years!
One student who was determined to attend thought it was in Roselle rather than Rochelle Park. He took this picture of us from his car in the parking lot. He wanted to prove that he was there and not just making excuses. He had driven all the way down to Roselle, then back up to Bergen county and didn't want to walk in late. I told him it wouldn't have mattered. We would have been happy to see him no matter what.
According to our audience the most effective parts of our talk were when we discussed
- commitment and keeping our word
- how not to let other people have the remote control on our feelings
- not letting our feelings dictate our actions
It all seems so simple when you see it in writing, but applying these principles to life isn't always easy. Sometimes we need others who are just as committed as we are to keep us on track.
And sometimes we all need a little motivation.
We're glad to do what we can for those who are willing to receive.
Trento’s Martial Arts and Fitness presents a Motivational Seminar:
“The Life You’re Not Living:
How to Live an Inspired Life
Instead of Just Wishing for One!”
Prof Lisa Sargese and Coach Darren Ventre
are ready to Activate, Inspire, Teach, or at least Entertain you…
Wake up with energy!
Feel good about life!
Learn to think like a winner!
Friday May 17th
Trento’s Martial Arts and Fitness
322 Rochelle Ave
Rochelle Park, NJ
$10 Suggested Donation
Cheaper than a movie!
Don’t just be IN your job, your relationship, or your day-to-day life… Be INTO it!
Posted by Lisa Sargese at 12:19 AM
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I never wanted to be an ordinary rule-follower. Being just ok or average is unappealing to me. I'd rather take sh*t for being weird than feel unfulfilled by being a conformist.
I'm tempted to play it safe just to fit in. It can be a hassle to hold unpopular opinions or live in an unconventional way.
Meh. I'd rather be hassled for being authentic than accepted for being a phony.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
When my mother could still walk and I had
much more flesh perhaps 2004? 2005?
Wow, 6 years ago today I was thankful to be alive.
I was remembering how sickly I had been for years prior.
I was so happy to be on the Spirit of NJ harbor cruise ship viewing the Statue of Liberty.
It's been a while. This summer my mother and some friends will be re-embarking on our NYC dinner cruise. I wonder if I'll be as sentimental as I was back in 2007 when I wrote this...
Blog from May 15, 2007
As stalwart as I am, I always harbored a little doubt. A small place inside me knew that in spite of my strong life force, my death drive could win. I had become desperately arthritic and nearly lethally diabetic. Walking was agony. I remembered what hope felt like but couldn't muster much of it. That's how I felt the last time I saw the . It felt like it might be my last. Part of me was saying goodbye to her, to New York Harbor, to life.
(for entire blog click here)